Bridal Gown Shopping Rules
Can I speak plainly?
Many bridal salons are not your friend. They are a business and therefore have to make a profit to stay in business. Selling you a dress that makes your special day a success is wonderful and icing on the cake, but the goal is still to sell you a dress even if it's less than you dreamed for. They don't have much of a reason to think you will be a repeat customer. Even with the divorce rate near 50% and the old idea of "you're only gonna do this once" loosing it's popularity, the chances of you returning to a bridal store as a repeat customer are slim. Most ladies who do decide to walk down the isle a second time do not do it in the grand fashion that needs a bridal salon's services.
So, what incentive does a bridal salon have to give good service? Reputation is a biggie. If you had a great experience, you may recommend the store to a friend when they are planning a wedding. I have had the privilege of working with several excellent Bridal Salons that deserve gold stars for their efforts to make every bride that comes through their door feel special and get her the gown of her dreams. But I have been so very disturbed over the years of hearing the stories from my customers of how they were treated in some salons and several experiences of my own working with and for several places that I just have to speak out.
Most Salons will do their best to give you a wonderful experience hoping for a good review or better - - -you recommend them to a friend. It's important to remember the old adage, "The buyer beware". We, as consumers, have to look after ourselves in any retail situation. And this goes doubly when you are a bride. You are usually young and rather inexperienced with formal wear as with the other aspects of wedding planning. So here are a few rules I think are worth thinking about when you set out at the task of shopping for the most important garment of your life thus far.
Some of these rules overlap while others will not pertain to all brides. Please do not be upset at my lack of political correctness on this page and others. I don't mean to pore cold water on your dreams. I only seek to give you information so you can make a better choice in a gown and avoid wasting your money on a pipe dream instead of a real dream gown that will be right for you.
#1. A gown that looks good in a magazine picture does not mean it will look good on you.
You probably know this, but do you really want to follow it? Falling in love with a picture in a magazine may be a big mistake. Let me try to get you to see it another way - It's not the dress that will make you beautiful on your special day. It's you. Don't fall into the trap of thinking a dress can hide any flaws in your figure. It can help a great deal, but your emphasis should not be on the dress but the person in the dress. Look for a dress that flatters your good figure points but does not try to overpower your bad points with too much lace, frills, etc. It's so easy to buy a dress that wears you. Which would you rather hear your friends and family say, "Gee, what a gorgeous dress" or "Gee, what a beautiful Bride"?
#2. Sales people want to make sales.
This is going to sound harsh but in all too many situations it's the norm. A sales person is motivated to sell you a dress. It's her job. She does not have to care how you look in it or if you can truly afford the price. The best bridal sales people do care and make you feel like they are truly doing their best to help you find the gown that is right for you, not simply a gown they can sell you. But all too many just want to make sales and get on to the next customer.
Most Sales people are paid by commission. That means the more dresses they sell the more they get paid. They don't get rated by customer satisfaction. In some bridal stores the sales people are paid on a graduating scale. This means the pricier the gown you buy the more money your sales person makes.
Sadly, the majority of sales persons know nothing about dress construction. But be sure that she is going to do everything in her persuasive power to convince you that the dress you like can be altered to fit you perfectly and make you look more beautiful than Cinderella. This is not just a quirk of the bridal industry. Any store you enter will have sales staff that are paid by the sales they make. It's just the way retail works. But in the bridal stores where you are not allowed the luxury of returning a gown that cannot be altered or is more expensicve than you can budget for, it is very important that you make your choice carefully. Simply listening to a sales person's advice may cause you problems later.
I can't tell you strongly enough how heartbreaking a time you will have if your newly acquired "dream gown" ends up being a nightmare to alter - or worse, an impossible situation. Like I've said before, these stores usually have a no refund policy - AND they mean every word of it! It's your tough luck if the dress can not be altered, even if the sale's lady said it could be. I have tried to help clients negotiate with stores for return or refund before to no avail. Their policies are strong. You need to take it upon yourself to be responsible for your choice of gown and be very sure it is right before you pay for it.
#3. If the gown is "on sale" there is probably something wrong with it.
Usually it's that no one liked it enough to buy it, but it may also be that there is some construction flaw that is not quickly noticeable. Is it worth it to find out that the flaw you didn't notice turned up in full blazing clarity in your wedding pictures? Just remember that because it's "on sale" does not mean it's a bargain.
#4. Never buy a dress that is over one size too small and avoid buying a dress that is over one size too big.
Sales people will tell you that any dress can be altered. As you stand there in a dress that can not be zipped up the back because it is 6" too small a sales person will assure you that pieces can be taken off the bottom to be put in the seams to make the dress fit. Though this is usually true that same sales person will not tell you that it will also look either very odd or simply awful after the alteration is done - AND it will cost you lots of money to have done. I have done this alteration procedure several times, mostly on gowns that belonged to the bride's mother and passed down for the daughter to wear. In this case you do some odd things to get the gown to fit. But I don't recommend doing these type things on a new gown. It's not usually good for the structural integrity of the gown and it's better on your nerves to simply pick another gown. AND anything that makes it easier on a brides nerves, I am all for.
The perfect fitting wedding gown is a very rare thing. In my 40 plus years of working on bridal garments I have seen only a hand full of gowns that needed nothing adjusted, not even a hem. The trick to getting a great fitting gown does start with the best fit you can get off the rack, or ordered carefully. And the rule of thumb is, "It is easier to take something in than it is to let out". And, quite often it is impossible to let something out. It depends on how much fabric is in the seam allowance and if it has been clipped to smooth out curves or not. That's when adding pieces becomes necessary.
The final decisions are always up to you, BUT let me give you my best advice. Do not let yourself be talked into buying a dress that needs more alterations than you feel comfortable with or that your budget can handle. It's best for the structural integrity of the gown and your nerves to have the least amount of altering as possible - AND that's coming from someone who makes a living altering.
#4a Do not diet to make yourself smaller than the gown you just ordered.
This is an extension of rule #4. If you diet and make your body over 2 sizes smaller than the gown you ordered, alterations will be costly to make the gown fit your smaller body and you may loose design elements of the gown that you won't like loosing.
I fail to understand why any bride HAS TO diet in the first place. Your groom fell in love with you the way you are. If you think you have to change yourself for the wedding day than you need to re-evaluate the reasons you are getting married. AND if you are feeling the need to send me an angry email scolding me for this opinion than you are only proved my point correct. If you think you have to have a perfect body for your perfect wedding day than you are in for a very sad married life. Nothing in this human experience is perfect. Neither are you or your groom. You have to be yourself! It's so very important to present the person you are to your future spouse for the wedding ceremony. If you can't be who you are, are you going to turn into someone else just because you're getting married?
I get emails from brides almost daily, asking how to plan for their dieting in ordering/buying their wedding gowns. My answer is always - Don't diet! If you have been dieting before you shop for your gown it is best that you stop once the gown is ordered and go on a maintenance plan to keep your body shape the same as it was measured for the size of the gown. This will save you costly alterations and the great stress of dieting while dealing with the multitude of things that have to be dealt with in planning a wedding. This is supposed to be a happy time. Adding the stress of dieting does not make sense to me. If you can't make your way through this time with joy, than your marriage is in danger from the start.
I have a rule that brides who are dieting must stop once they have their first fitting with me. If they refuse, than I do not agree to do their alterations. I do not want the stress of doing the alterations twice should the bride's body shrink more than I have pinned the gown in the first place, and what customer wants to pay twice? It is not right for the other brides I am wanting to do good work for to have one bride stressing me more than necessary. I do not keep Bridezillas in my service. If you are overly stressing me than you can find another alteration lady to bother. I want to do my best work for each bride in my service unstressed by one bad attitude bride who is not ready for marriage.
Now, all that said - it is a good thing for a female to care enough about herself to want to improve her body and become a healthier person. Dieting may be part of this, but it is not a good idea to do it while planning a wedding. If you are doing this for the good reason of your own self esteem, do it before or after the wedding.
#5. Just because a bridal consultant takes your measurements does not mean the dress is being made to those exact measurements.
If you are not buying a gown off the rack your sales associate will measure you to determine what size you need to order. This does not mean the dress is going to be sewn to your exact measurements. Many a bride has been surprised and even dismayed to find that her newly arrived gown does not fit her perfectly. "But they took my measurements?" is usually a common reply.
You need to understand the difference between "Special Order " and "Custom Made". In Custom Made, a garment is cut and sewn to a specific set of client measurements and should fit well when finished. In contrast, a Special Order garment is chosen carefully using size charts to determine the best size to order that will make alterations minimal, but it usually does not eliminate the need for them. Few retail bridal salons can offer Custom Made gowns. It is a very expensive undertaking that few customers can handle. Special Ordering is sometimes tricky because the various companies have varying sizing charts and when you add the fact that no two brides have exactly the same body, you can start to understand why alterations are a necessary part of the gown selection process.
When your sales associate selects a size for your gown she is looking at many factors. One of the most important is your figure proportions. Since it is always better to take a large area in, then let a small one out. Your associate is going to select a size determined by your largest proportion for the size category you best fit into. This means that if you have a large bustline in proportion to your waist and hips, she will select the size to best fit your bust and you will need alterations in the waist and hip areas to make them fit to your measurements. In contrast, a small busted bride will have to select a size according to her hip measurement. Alterations may be needed in the bust area, or as many brides choose, padding can be cleverly added to enhance the figure to fit the gown.
#6 Doublecheck Everything.
Whether buying a gown off the rack or ordering one, examine it VERY carefully before paying for it or accepting delivery and taking it out of the store. If you find a flaw after you get the gown home, the store is under no obligation to fix it. They do not have to give you any compensation either. "All sales are final" is very true in the bridal industry.
a) Check for fit - If you have ordered this gown with measurements taken by the store attendant, the fit should be close to good. It is not usually perfect. Though they took your measurements, the gown was not custom made to them. The measurements were taken to compare them to a chart of sizes for the gown. The store associate picks a size that will give the closest fit for you, but alterations are usually necessary to fine tune the fit.
For some figure types there may need to be extensive alteration. This happens when one measurement is very large or small in comparison to the others. The gown's size is selected by the largest body measurement. If a lady has a hip measurement of 42" and a bust of 34", the dress will be ordered by the hip measurement and the bust area will need tightening.
b) Check for flaws - If you wait to examine the gown when you get home and find a tear in the fabric that happened in the shipping process, it is your problem to fix. The store does not have to help you. Some will, but most will not. They have your money and don't have to do anything for you. I don't mean to sound cynical, but I do want to forewarn you. The system is harsh but it can be worked with if you take the precautions to educate yourself and be prepared when difficulties arise.
c) Check for alteration elements - If you are buying a gown off the rack that is a little too tight, and you have no choice to get a larger size, check the seams for let-out space. If the seams are trimmed close or clipped for better shaping around curves, than it can not be let out. It is better that you find another gown than go through the heartache of finding out that the one you bought and can not return is not able to be altered.
If the gown will need taking in check the sides seams for design elements that may be lost. Most designers will position lace and beading away from alteration points like side seams, but often these get taken in the seams when they are sewn. Some laces can be removed before the seams are taken in and replaced over the alteration, but this too has it's drawbacks. Beads may fall off in the moving process and create a costly situation to replace. You can examine the gown carefully to see if the beads were sewn to the lace first, than the lace to the gown. In this case the beads will not fall off and the lace can be more easily replaced after the alteration.
Taking along a trusted friend or family member who sews is helpful. But understand that wedding gowns have special fabrics and construction that she may not be familiar with.
#7 Buy the gown you want.
This may seem silly, but many brides buy a gown that is "close" to what they want thinking they can alter it. I have stated many times on this site that altering for fit is one thing but altering for design change is another. Do not be tempted to buy a gown that is marked way down just because a sales person says it can be changed into the gown of your dreams. Remember, that sweet teenager helping you knows nothing about alterations and less about design changing.
#8 If you are a C cup or higher - You Will Need A Bra.
If you are large busted and need support you will need to shop for a gown style that lets you wear a bra that will support you. The gown can not give you this support even if it is boned. Gowns are designed to support themselves, not your breasts. Many small breasted brides can go braless in many gown styles, but anyone larger than a B may find that this is not the case for her.
Proper support is so very important not only to how you look but how you feel that day. If you feel lousy, you will look lousy. I advise that you buy a good supportive bra first and then go looking for a gown style that has a neckline that will cover the bra back and front. Do not let yourself fall in love with a gown that has a lacy, or revealing neckline before you have selected your bra.
Saying, "Yes" to the Dress
You have found the 1! or have you??? Some important things to consider and weigh before you say, "Yes".
#1. Can I stand comfortably for my pictures?
Pictures are very important to how you choose the dress. They are your memories that will last long past the time you will forget how uncomfortable you were wearing that gown for all those hours. Standing still in a dress is very different than moving in it. Dancing, hugging, sitting, walking - all these things you will do, and the dress has to do them with you. At times you may be not as comfortable as you would like, but you have to weigh that with your desire for the look you want.
I put a lot of value on comfort when it comes to wedding gowns. If you don't feel good, then how can you look good? I often advise ladies to let me make the dress a little less tight to add comfort. They always want a tiny waistline, but the risk of popping seams is not worth it. But this must be weighed with your options for altering things you don't like about the design or fit. You may have to accept a degree of discomfort for the sake of the look you want or the inability of the dress to be changed.
#2. Am I going to be dancing, eating, etc.?
The activities you plan for the reception may change the way you alter the dress. If you are not dancing, you may opt for a tighter fit because you don't need to move so freely. Hugging is a big activity you will want to be able to do, so arm freedom is a biggie. Many design elements in gowns today restrict arm movement. A wide neckline is one. Giving someone a nice view when you only meant to show familiar affection may not be your idea of a good thing. Then again, many brides do obsess about this. A wide neckline does not equate with guests staring at your cleavage. You have to force yourself to see it as they do. You looking down at your neckline, are getting a much different view than someone standing in front of you is getting. Put your dress on a dress form and stand back to look. You will be amazed at the difference you see, even than looking in a mirror.
#3. What is my budget?
Design chjoice may need to be weighed by the added expense - that could be a lot - with the other things you could use this money for. Sure, the wedding gown is the most important item to spend money on in making your wedding plans. When the gown is right everything else just seems to fall into place. But there is a point when you have to ask yourself if you aren't going overboard about it. Only you can answer that. You may need to choose if it is more important to you to have your guests eating delicious food or complimenting you on your gown.
#4. Don't let anyone rush you.
Rushing your decisions is a big taboo. After all I say about moderation and honestly asking yourself if you might be making a bigger thing out of this than it is, I do still hold that the decisions you make concerning your special wedding gown are the most important. Don't let anyone rush you.
Our Visitors ask Questions

Size Chart Verses Me?
Hi Leanna:
I am concerned and stressed out about the dress size I ordered. I was doing some research and came across your website.
I am getting married in September 2010. I just ordered my dress two days ago. I purchased a pronovias 2010 collection dress. I attached a copy of my dress to this email. The bridal store measured me at:
Bust: 32.5"
Waist: 25.75"
Hip: 34.75"
I was honestly surprised about my waist measurement because in I always knew my waist measurement fluctuated between 26.5 ~ 27".
Here's the Pronovias size chart I found online but from what I remember seeing at the shop, the waist size for Pronovias size 4 was 25.9".
PRONOVIAS EFFECTIVE 6/1/2009
SIZE 4 6
BUST 34.5" 35"
WAIST 26" 27"
HIPS 37" 38"
They recommended I order a size 4 based on their measurements which made sense based on their measurements they took for me. After I purchased and went home, I couldn't stop thinking about my waist measurement. It didn't sound right. I measured myself numerous of times and got 27". Even sucking in my belly I got 26.5~26.75". I tried re-measuring myself in the morning to see and I got 26.75-27". I even tried measuring the smallest part of my waist and I did not get what they measured me at. I'm stressed out because if they did not measure my waist correctly, this means my waist size will fall into a pronovias size 6 instead of size 4. I left the store a message to talk to them and see how they measured me at the size they did and if it's too late to order one size up.
What are your thoughts? Do you think I should be fine with a size 4 even if my waist is usually a high 26 to 27"? Or do you think the size 4 will be too tight in my waist? And if so, looking at the picture of my dress, does it look difficult to take out slightly? If I change my order to size 6 (if it's even possible), will it be difficult taking in to fit me? If I could get your thoughts and advice, I would truly appreciate it.
Thanks and I hope to hear from you soon.
Hi Annette,
Generally it's better to plan to take in then let out. Most of these gowns can be let out at least an inch. Some can't be at all while I have done some up to 4 inches. It depends a lot on the style of the dress and many brides want them to be tight in the waist area.
Do the other measurements they took match your body? Again, it depends on the style but many a gown is difficult to alter if the bust area is off more than an inch. They might have been thinking that your waist is the easier place to be altered. I can't say without seeing the seams of the dress.
Does this store have alteration ladies there so they can look at the seam structure and tell you if the waist can be let out if it's too tight?
~Lea
Hi Leanna:
The store did not have the dress so I could not try it on when taking measurements. I tried on a sample dress before at another store but it was a size 13, super big on me.
The bust and hips for a size 4 is still big so I will need to get that altered but what I'm concerned about is the waist. Would you recommend sticking with the size 4 since if I up my size to a 6 the bus and hips will be even larger on me? Your help and advice is very much appreciated.
Well, does your weight fluctuate like some women? September is a long way off.
It looks like the fabric is a good candidate for letting out without showing marks.
It's really hard to say without seeing the seams. I like your idea of getting them to remeasure you. Do they have other dresses from this designer? You can look at the seams and be fairly certain your gown will be about the same. What concerns me more than the fabric is that the dresses that are hugging to the body curves like this one are usually trimmed or snipped in the seams. This makes the curves lay nicer but they can't be let out.
Thank you :)
The material of my dress is silk.
I just got off the phone with the bridal shop and the manager agreed to re-measure me to be sure. I'm so relieved. So if they do decide to go one size up – to a size 6, there should be no problem letting it in to fit me perfectly, right?
My weight stays pretty consistent. If i fluctuate we are talking about 2-3 lb at most.
Thanks again for your time and help! :)
Cool. This sounds like a reputable store. Bring the measuring tape you were using to check your own measurements. Tapes can stretch from use. If theirs is very old it might be giving inaccurate measures.
For this style, taking in the sides should not change the design any. The fit I can't vouch for. That depends on the skill of your alteration lady. I'm sure I could have this fitting you to your satisfaction, this Alteration Specialits should be able to also.
Good Luck to you,
~Lea
Will my Hips look big?
added May 2011
Hi,
I have my heart set on a Mori Lee 2505 even though I am a pear shape - this one seems not to make my hips look big due to the flaring skirt.
I have 41 inch hips and have been advised to order the 10. I tried on the 8 and it looked great but was very tight around the hips when I was sitting. My breast measurements are best suited to a 6!
I am wondering if it is ever impossible to make small breasts fit a wedding dress such as this? Can padding look fake or can the cup be made smaller before it is padded? Everyone knows that I don't have much up top - I don't want to look ridiculous!
Apparently it is difficult to let out the seams in this material as it is very light and silky. It has a firm underlayer as well, to hold everything in.
Thanks in advance, Deanne
Hi Deanna,
I've looked at a picture of Mori Lee 2505 and think it can look good on a small busted woman. You may like to add some padding to the cups, just don't add so much that you look silly. I don't think you can get away with not taking in the bust area a little, but that plus a little padding can give you just the right, balanced look.
Yes, I would think about ordering the 8.
~Lea
Hip Measurement for A-Line Gown
added October 2010
Hi Leanna,
First of all, your website has taught me much about wedding gowns and alterations. Thank you so much!
I am about to order a Casablanca gown (Style #1827) http://www.casablancabridal.com/collections/view/5/84 from a local bridal salon. It's got a lot of lace and some beadings on the top. I stand at 5'2" and my measurement is 32-25-35 (taken by the sale representative). The wedding gown size chart from Casablanca is below:
Size 2 = 33-24-35
Size 4 = 34-25-36
It seems if I order Size 2, I would need to let out the waist. If I order a Size 4, I would need a lot of padding for the bust area and/or alterations to take it in. From the many Q&As on your website, it seems I should order based on the largest measurement, which is my hip size. But since this is an A-line dress, does the hip size matter? If it doesn't, do I follow my bust size or my waist size for a better fit? As this is a low back dress, I'm not sure if I can wear a bra without the strap showing itself in the back. And I don't think diet will shrink my waist down much, although I intend to increase my exercise regimen until my wedding day. I would also like to eat the food at my own wedding.
The sale representative told me it's up to me which size to order, but I'm not sure which size I should order. Do you have any suggestions? Which one should I order to maximize fit and minimize alterations?
Thank you very much for your help! Lindia
Hi Lindia,
There are a lot of factors here. It is generally better to order by the largest measurement, but you are correct in taking in the gown's a line style into consideration. Most brides also like a snug waist, and since this is a strapless neckline, the snug waist might be just fine and not need letting out. If you feel it is too tight, this style of gown does usually have some seam allowance that can be let out. I can't promise this but it is usually true. You could look inside the sample dress at the store to see if the seams are designed for some spare space.
Though it is generally better to take in than let out - the bustline does get complicated depending on each bride's breast situation. Some do just fine with a little nip at the side seam and others do need padding which brides either love or hate. Some like a little more cleavage for their special day while others think they need to be totally who they really are. Looking at the link you sent this dress should do fine with a little side adjustment depending on your cup situation and the look you are going for.
It sounds like you will have the option of not using a bra. Most size 2 and 4 ladies can skip it. Gowns have plenty of layers in the bust area and many have pads inside too. If you don't need support, you can easily go braless, thus avoiding the back strap problem.
I think I hit all the questions. Hope this helps.
~Lea
Worried It'll be Way Too Big
added October 2009
Hi there,
I spotted your website and could really use your expertise. I have found my wedding dress and have placed an order this weekend. I feel a little uncomfortable with the size the store have recommended. I tried on a sample dress which fit me near perfectly, actually with a little room to spare – eg if I bought the sample it would need to be taken in to fit. However based on my measurements, they are ordering the next size up. I’m worried that the dress will arrive and be way too big and need radical alterations. I am in the middle of a weight loss plan. I have lost 7 pounds and have 7 more to lose. I actually tried the sample dress when I was 7 pounds heavier before the dieting and it fit then too, but I could see, and so could the consultant, the difference those 7 pounds had made when I tried it again this weekend.
What would you recommend? At the store they explained that the need to order the size up in the dress was due to the fact a sample can stretch. I can appreciate that, but would it stretch by a whole size and given the sample was too big, would it not have made sense to order in that size?
I’m attaching an image of the dress so you can see the style and type of fabric.
I am an hourglass shape. I wear a 34 D and a US street size 8. The sample I tried was a US10 and suggested order size a US12. I’m confused and some impartial advice would be a great help!!
Thank you and regards, Kim
Hi Kim,
First off, samples don't stretch. I don't understand why store clerks keep telling brides this. Yes, they are tried on by many ladies but I just can't see them stretching, and certainly not a whole size.
Next, 7 pounds usually does not equal a whole size for many brides. It might for you depending on what your figure type is to begin with, but it usually doesn't make much difference in size.
I would rather you had ordered the size you tried on but I can't say the next size up will create radical alterations. You have said that you know you will need some anyway and the degree of them doesn't effect the cost. Taking in one inch or 2 is the same amount of work. It's when you get to 4 and 5 inches that the alteration starts effecting other factors in the gown's design that have to be adjusted that make the alteration more involved.
It's usually not possible to change an order size after it has gone out but you might like to try talking to the store about it.
Good Luck to you,
~Lea
Hollow to Hem Measuring
added October 2009
Hello, I appreciate any advice you can give! I recently purchased my wedding gown. Here is the link to a picture http://www.demetriosbride.com/us/index.php?page=collection_ilissa&styleID=582 . I am rather short, 5'3, and when they ordered the dress they didn't take my height into the equation. When the dress came in the bridal consultant mentioned that they should have taken my height because of the detailing at the bottom, but then quickly brushed it off and said that it would be fine. I'm concerned that they made a mistake by not taking my height and now I'm going to have to pay a lot more in alterations. Another concern is because I'm so short and the fit of the dress (Trumpet) I'm worried that the flare won't start in the right place. Can this kind of a dress be taken in at the waist so that it flares at the right spot and we don't lose the detailing at the bottom? I'm just really concerned now and it's making me worry if I picked the wrong dress. Anything would be appreciated! Thank you
Hi Kathryn,
Many brides who are near your height think of these things. Hemming is a normal alteration need for most brides. You will not be paying more than the average bride. What the associate at the store mentioned is something called Hollow to Hem measuring. That is where some companies offer to make the gown with an extra measurement from your neckline to the hem. This usually costs about $200 extra and is very much an option that the company that makes this gown might not offer. This charge is also often more than the cost of hemming the gown. So, the need for you to have the gown hemmed is not unusual nor will it cost more than the next bride.
Your gown should not be hemmed at the waist. For one thing it does not have a waistline seam, so one will have to be created at great cost and end up looking very odd in my opinion. If there was a waist line seam, hemming a gown so fitted as this would still be very costly. The normal way to hem this gown is to remove the lace at the bottom and move it up to the proper hem length needed. Then the lining is adjusted to that length.
The flare position will be just fine. It may not be at the same exact spot on you as the model in the picture but that does not make it wrong. These dresses flare at all kinds of places from mid thigh to very low calf. You tried this gown on in the store, yes? What did you think of the flare position then?
Maybe the lady at the store dropped the ball and didn't offer you the Hollow to Hem option, but I can't say that will cause your gown to be less beautiful.
~Lea
Ordering Too Small?
added July 2009
While I know that rule of thumb with alterations is to fit the largest portion of one's body but I'm worried that this would make any dress I buy far too big. I'm a 32D bra size with a perfect figure (36-25-36) and I've found that, at least measurements-wise, this makes any dress about 2-3 inches too big in the waist and hips and I'm worried that this will be a problem for getting the dress fitted. I'll be buying out of town but getting the dress taken in at home and I just want to make sure that it will be able to be fitted properly. Should I be looking for sizes that might be slightly tight in the bust but fit better in the waist and hips? Is there a good rule I should be applying here?
Thanks.
---C
I never advise that you order too small. In case the seams can not be let out it is wise to order for the largest portion. Unless you have looked under the dress you tried on in the store and seen that there is a good seam that can be let out, I would not advise that you order tight in the bust. Unless, of course you want it tight in the bust. Most brides don't want to be bulging out of their bodice on their wedding day.
~Lea
Can this Sample Dress be Altered?
added October 2008
Hi there,
I would greatly appreciate your feedback on whether or not the following alterations would be possible.
I have found a gown that is on sale at a great price, but it's a sample and will require alterations. The dress is pictured above - the first picture is the exact dress, the second picture is a similar style - I included it so that you could get a full length view of the dress.
The sample dress size is 10 (bust 36.5 and waist 28), however my size is about a 2 (bust 32.5, waist 22.5). So as you can see significant alterations will be required.
I spoke to a recommended wedding dress maker/designer who is based near where I live, and she said that it would be possible to make necessary adjustments and make the dress fit, but she won't know exactly what is involved until she can see the dress.
Her opinion was that the skirt would be straight forward, however the bustier would be quite a lot of work as the bust seams would need to be opened up. She also said that the alterations would likely result in design changes to some extent.
From your experience do you think an adjustment of this size would be possible or would you advise against it? If you think it would result in design changes, would these be significant? Finally, do you have any suggestions as to how you would approach altering this dress?
Many thanks in advance.
Kate
I'd need to see the dress on you and be able to look inside it to see how the seams are constructed, but this should not be an overly difficult alteration. I would do it at the side seams normally. It should not need to be taken apart in the bust seams but that is a possibility and something I would determine when I saw you in the gown. Most of my brides who are small busted like to add padding to the bust instead of making the dress fit them.
Normally I recommend that any bride not buy a gown over 2 sizes too big or too small to make the alterations possible. When you go past these amounts it does become more difficult. There may be complications for your gown that I cannot see with just a picture. You'll need to have a consultation with the lady you pick and ask lots of questions. If she can answer them all and makes you feel confident that she knows what she is doing, then you should get a good alteration job.
Thank you so much for your quick reply Leanna, I really appreciate it.
I would have to purchase the gown from American as its not available here in Ireland, and then have it altered here. Which wouldn't be a problem except that i can't show my seamstress the gown before purchasing it.
All in all i think its a little too risky, although theoretically it may be possible the fact that i can't talk through the necessary alterations in advance of buying the gown makes me feel that its too much of a risk and there would be too much money at stake if we decided the alterations might be too difficult.
Many thanks again for your advice.
Best regards,
Kate
Yes, Kate. I misunderstood your first letter. I thought you already had this gown. In most cases I do recommend that you do not buy a gown over 2 sizes too large or small. Alterations are possible but the cost does raise at that situation and the money you save gets eaten up in the alterations.
~Lea
No- I made sure to check first. i had read your website before when researching alterations online, so i thought it better to ask advice before making such a large purchase. I don't mind about the cost as the dress is a sample and I'm saving a lot that way, however i would be very worried about the risks attached to such large alterations considering the construction of the gown cannot be assessed before purchase.
The seamstress in the shop said it would be very possible but of course they are biased.
I would feel more comfortable purchasing a gown on spec, if the measurements were closer to my own.
Thanks again Leanna, your website and advice service is invaluable.
Best regards
Kate
How Companies Vary in Sizing
added February 2009
Leanna - Your site is a godsend for brides!
I've tried on numerous dresses from several different designers and the samples are usually too large on me. I have a petite frame - 5'2, 33 x 25.5 x 34, street size 0.
When I decided to purchase the dress, it was recommended that I order a size 10.
The designer's size chart states that a:
Size 10 is 35 x 26 x 37
Size 8 is 34 x 25 x 36
Size 6 is 33 x 24 x 35
It's extremely difficult for me to believe that I'm a size 10! I researched other forums and women with similar stats stated that they ordered a size 6 from this designer!!!
Did the store make a mistake? And did I make an even bigger mistake by agreeing to order such an incredibly large size? Please see attached for pictures.
Thanks so much!
I usually advise that it's best to go with what the bridal consultant says for they know how their company sizing runs, but this situation sounds odd to me. They should have recommended a size 8. Bridal sizing has nothing to do with real world sizing and comparing your normal size to bridal sizes is not worth your time. They routinely try to convince brides that it is better to order a little larger than have the problem of a gown that is way too tight and cannot be fixed.
You can insist that they order a size 6 if you think that best. They will do that if you are forceful enough, but they will also not fix any problems if the dress ends up being too small. Most gowns can be let out a small amount and you might find the tightness in the waist area comfortable since this is strapless.
~Lea
Bridal Sizes don't equate to Reality
added October 2008
I came about your website and i have a question about my wedding gown. Here's a link to it. https://www.alfredangelo.com/Collections/ProductDisplay.aspx?productID=4eace2ce-e0e2-4343-bd97-48d2dbbffb32&categoryID=32e5a88c-cbf1-498f-afcf-dbfca138c5d3&pg=0
When I tried on the dress it was a sample size 6 or something so they said i should order a 12 cause of my measurements. I'm a size 8 usually but have big hips. The dress is way too big on me around the bust area and the dress is corset. Is there a way I can alter this? Is it going to be a problem being a corset dress? How do i go about finding a seamstress?
Please email me back! Thanks!!
Betty
Bridal sizes have nothing to do with reality. When the sales person tells you to order a larger size than you are used to it is usually a good idea to go with her advice. Any gown can be taken in. Many gowns cannot be let out so you do not want to have the problem of a too small dress. This gown looks like it is very fitted in the hip area so you do need to order the larger size and then have it taken in the bust area.
The seamstresses that work at the bridal salon are usually skilled and can do most any bridal type alteration. Have a fitting with her and ask lots of questions. If she does not give you answers that make you feel like you can trust her, go elsewhere. Many fabric stores have lists of ladies who will sew for the public. You can call around to other bridal stores. You can also look in your local Yellow pages under Alterations. Most ladies who have a business phone are a good bet that they are serious about their business. Again, call and ask lots of questions and go with the lady who makes you feel like you can trust her.
~Lea
Do Gown Stretch Throughout your Wedding Day?
added October 2008
Hi Leanna,
I just found your site today and think it's wonderful! I have a very quick question about a wedding dress purchase. I normally wear a size 6 and every dress I tried on has fit perfectly in a 6.
My first choice dress, however, seems to be a "small" 6. It fits VERY well, just a little tighter than the other 6’s. I can walk and breath pretty well but of course I'm only in the store! I am worried about being in it for 8+ hours. I did try on the 8 but it feels a little large. It doesn't "hug" me like all the other dresses did. I don't mind having it taken in but that is, of course, not the whole story.
The problem is this: the alterations person at the store told me to go with the smaller size since over the course of the wedding day and evening, the dress will expand. She said the fabric will stretch a bit over the night and I will feel more comfortable as the night goes on. Then she mentioned that buying an 8 and having it altered to fit better would result in the same problem-the altered 8 would also expand. I have NEVER heard of this!!! An internet search brought me to your site. A bride mentioned that she thought her dress was expanding due to her wearing the dress in her fittings. You mentioned that she might have lost weight. . . a great answer. But have you ever heard of this "dress expands as the night goes on" phenomenon? Any advice you have and any information would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much!
Andria
When you wear a garment for many hours, your body heat does act on the fabric to make it ease a little. The dress doesn't stretch so much as it conforms to you. It's sort-of like how shoes get more comfortable over time of wearing them. This depends on what the fabric is as to how much this happens. Natural fibers, like shoe leather, are more pliable to this. Polyester and other man made fibers won't conform as much.
~Lea
I Can Loose Weight Easily, but . . .
added August 2008
Hi Leanne
I am getting married in June 2009 and have just been sized up so that the shop can order my dress. My bust is perfect for a size 10 dress but my waist and hips are 1 inch too big for a 10 but 1 inch too small for the 12. Therefore the 12 is altogether too big for me now on all measurements. I also need 6 inches adding onto the dress.
I have always been under 9 stone but I am currently 9 stone and 6 pounds but from past experience I can loose weight really easily. I have told the shop that I will loose 6 pounds before the wedding ( I have 1 year to do so) and on that basis, and considering I am only 1 inch out, they have ordered me the size 10.
My concerns are:
If I order the 12 and have to have it taken in:
1. That detail may be lost in taking the dress in
2. It won't look as good as it would if it had been made to fit properly from the actual designer (Benjamin Roberts Constantina)
If I order a size 10:
1. What if I loose the weight but it is still tight on my rib cage - I don't want to be uncomfortable on the day
2. What if the 10 bust squashes me. I tried the 14 on in the shop and when it was pulled tight on me it looked nice on the chest. I'm worried the cup size might be a lot smaller instead of the excess material just being take out of the back.
3. The ladies in the shop said it could be taken in easily but the material did not lend itself to being taken out very easily (French taffeta). I'm worried about this in case for example my rib cage is too big for the 10 as I cant loose weight off bones?
4. What if, like with some of your other correspondence, the dress comes a little smaller than the size chart?
Would you advise that I order the 10 or 12?
Many thanks, Rowena
I never advise any bride to buy a dress smaller than her measurements dictate. Gowns can always be taken in but many will leave marks on the fabric if they are let out and some don't have enough in the seams to let out. Since I have not seen you in the dress I would go by the advice of the sales people who have. They should know how the sizing runs for their manufacturers.
For your situation I seriously doubt that taking the dress in the small amount that might be necessary will loose any detail. That happens when gowns are going in more than 2 sizes and you are far from that situation.
~Lea
Bridal Salon told me to lose weight
added September 2005
Hello Leanna,
I just went in for my first alteration since my dress arrived at the bridal salon. Once I tried the dress on, I realized that it was too small and instead of hanging like it is supposed to, it bunches up around my mid-section and is extremely uncomfortable as it constricts my breathing. My measurements have not changed since I first ordered it. I am 5'4" and weigh 110 lbs. I was told by the bridal salon that the dress is indeed my size despite the fact that it doesn't fit. They informed me that it is too late to order another dress as my wedding is in 6 weeks and that I will need to lose weight in addition to having the dress let out a total of 1 inch which will leave holes along the seams. As you can imagine at 110 lbs, I really don’t have much weight to lose and the bones in my chest will stick out if I'm any thinner which would be very unflattering in the dress I have chosen. I’m not sure how to proceed at this point and was wondering if you could offer any advice.
Thanks so much, Jenny
This is not a common problem, and your bridal store may have not encountered it before so they are a bit at a loss for what to do to help you. Telling you to lose weight was ridiculous, not to mention insensitive. Reordering is not an option but offering to let you pick another dress from their rack is. Though you may not want that option, they should have offered it.
OK, to what can be done. I'm sure that there is at least 1" in the seams to let out. There may be more depending on how the dress is designed. I got 4" out of a gown just last week that was supposed to be a size 10, but I'd guess it was a 4 with a 10 label. The seamstress in the store may not understand that she can let out more than just the sides seams. Princess seams can give up to 2" if let out carefully. Usually there is not much in there, but if it can be sewn at only 1/4 of an inch for each seam that makes 1/2" total per seam. There are 4 princess seams, so it can add up to 2". Even 1/8 inch per seam will get you one more inch total. That might be enough to make you comfortable. If this is a strapless gown, you don't want it too loose anyway.
As for the holes, they should be able to steam them out to nearly nothing. For what is left, no one will notice, and it will not show up in pictures. Many a gown fabric can be let out safely without any holes. Letting out is not an easy operation and the seamstress may be telling you these things to cover for the slim chance that you may not like the result. Many a bride wants her dress to be absolutely perfect and will settle for nothing less. They can be very demanding customers. But in honestly, many things a bride sees as imperfections in her gown will never be noticed by any guest at the wedding.
Getting them to make this right without adding significantly to your cost is going to be difficult. You can ask them to remeasure you and try to prove that they made the mistake, but it will take a lot of yelling and being a basic bitch to force them to respond. Adding stress to your life is not a good idea at this time. I would recommend finding an independent seamstress to alter the gown. It will cost you, but you will have more right for saying what you want.
There are other things you can do depending on how upset you are over this. You can report them to the Better Business Bureau. You can talk to your lawyer. If you paid with a credit card you can call your bank and issue what is called a charge back. The bank takes the money the store was paid and holds it until the store makes the transaction right. You have 90 days from the date of purchase to issue a chargeback. Once issued, the store has 10 days to make it right or lose the money. There may be other rules depending on what bank and charge company you are working with.
All these things will add stress to your situation and I'm a big advocate of limiting stress during wedding planning. There's enough there naturally for anyone’s nerves.
I hoped these thoughts help you. I hate to see anything like this happen during a time when you want your life to run smoothly. Please let me know how things work out and know that I will be praying for you.
~Lea
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